Chinese Movie Review: The Return of Pom Pom

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for The Return of Pom Pom
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	3.2 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	3.4 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.2 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	The Return of Pom Pom
Director	Philip Chan
Actors	Richard Ng, John Shum, Deannie Yip, Lam Ching Ying, Kara Hui, Philip Chan, James Tin Jun
Year	1984
Format Viewed	VCD Fortune Star JS/VCD/3338/HK What is a VCD?

Just how far into the closet is it possible for a movie to be?  This seems to be the question that director Philip Chan set out to discover with his 1984 classic Chinese movie, The Return of Pom Pom.

Movie Review: Oily Maniac

I love how straightforward the titles of Chinese movies can be.  Oily Maniac?  Well I guess we all know what we're in for with this fine offering!

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Oily Maniac
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	1.8 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	2 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.6 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Oily Maniac
Director	Ho Meng Hua for the Shaw Brothers Studios
Actors	Danny Lee, Chen Ping, Lily Li, Hua Lun, Wang Hsia
Year	1976
Format Viewed	VCD Shaw Brothers 100185 What is a VCD?

This Chinese movie from the Shaw Brothers Studios is very much in the tradition of the goofy, random monster movies that proliferated in the second half of the twentieth century.  This movie making strategy takes anything, anything at all, and makes it into a monster.  The monsterfication of ordinary things was often done by making them extra big, or extra strong, or maybe “radioactive.”  A reliable hallmark of this technique was ominous, dramatically building music, the slowly rising “dun, dun, dun, dun, DUN!” that we hear whenever the monstrous ant or lizard or shark or doll or janitor or dog or toddler was approaching its next victim.

Movie Review: Bury Me High

This Chinese movie had a huge budget for a Hong Kong film.  Tsui Sui-Ming had enough money for full-on war scenes, involving hundreds of soldiers, a dozen or so tanks, helicopters, entire south east Asian villages, and more explosions per minute than a Michael Bay feature.

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Bury Me High
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	1.2 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	2.6 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.5 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Bury Me High
Director	Tsui Sui-Ming
Actors	Moon Lee, Chin Kar-Lok, Tsui Sui-Ming
Year	1991
Format Viewed	VCD Fortune Star JS/VCD/3035/HK  What is a VCD?

Tsui Sui-Ming also traveled internationally with his cast and crew, filming some of this on location in Los Angeles, some in Hong Kong, some in what looks like a Hollywood Western, and a lot in what looks like a Vietnam War movie's back lot.

Movie Review: The Red Panther

The best thing about watching (and reviewing!) obscure Chinese movies from the Gweilo's perspective is that you are carried into a cinematic world that is entirely different from anything you've ever seen before.   The Red Panther, an obscure 1983 Hong Kong film from director Kong Lung, definitely fits this bill. 

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for The Red Panther
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	2.7 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	4.3 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.7 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	The Red Panther
Director	Kong Lung
Actors	James Yi, Margaret Lee, John Chang, Lawrence Cheng
Year	1983
Format Viewed	Megastar VCD MS/VCD/234/HK What is a VCD?

From the opening scene of this Chinese movie, where characters eat bananas, inexplicably blow up inflatable pool toys, and seek “toilet pepper” while enjoying an “opera” performance that looks like it's taking place in a bus station, it is obvious that this film was not made with any kind of international or Western audience in mind.  Let's start with the film's genre:

Movie Review: Too Many Ways to Be No. 1

Too Many Ways to be No. 1 is possibly the most violent comedy I have ever seen.  At least, I have to assume this Chinese movie is intended to be a comedy.  There is way too much situational humor, way too many unlikely coincidences, way too much goofiness in the directing and cinematography for this to even possibly be intended as a serious drama.

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Too Many Ways to be No. 1
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	4.6 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	3.5 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	4 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Too Many Ways to be No. 1
Director	Wai Ka Fi
Actors	Lau Ching Wan, Carman Lee, Frances Ng
Year	1997
Format Viewed	DVD (City Laser & Video Company Limited NDVD 129)  Oddly, this is packaged like a VCD.

Imagine taking Quinten Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, mixing it in a blender with Run Lola Run, adding the silliest tricks of Hong Kong film making, then splattering it with enough blood and gore and severed fingers that you really, honestly have no idea what kind of movie you're watching.  From the Gweilo's perspective...

Movie Review: Never Compromise

The back cover of this Chinese movie has a poorly translated plot summary of Never Compromise.  It begins:

Because of drug problem, 'Homicidal Mania' Bill and Shing conflict with a guy of triad society and kill seven...

Wait!  “'Homicidal Mania' Bill”?!

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Never Compromise
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	4.5 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	4 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	2 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Never Compromise
Director	Bosco Lam
Actors	Frances Ng, Simon Lui, Yu Rong-Guang
Year	2000
Format Viewed	VCD (Universe U333 VCD 2252)

Right there, I knew I would have to see this movie.  Seriously, how can a movie be bad if the main character is called "Homicidal Mania" Bill?