Movie Review: Ghost for Sales

As I was preparing to post my review of Chinese movie Ghost for Sales today, I learned that the star of this movie, Ricky Hui, died this morning.  This is sad, of course.  Ricky Hui starred in dozens of golden era Hong Kong movies, and his distinctive looks, his understated comedic acting style, and his deft martial artistry were a reliable staple of so many weird and goofy movies.  That he died on the day I posted my first review of him seems like the kind of coincidence that would only happen in the world of a Hong Kong movie.   RIP, Ricky Hui.  Such as it is, this movie review is for you.

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Ghost for Sales
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	3.2 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	3.6 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	2 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Ghost for Sales
Director	Guy Lai
Actors	Ricky Hui, Sheila Chan, Wilson Lam, Shing Fui-On, Maggie Sui,
Year	1991
Format Viewed	VCD Wide Sight WCVCD1160 What is a VCD?

You might think that a movie titled Ghost for Sales would have a ghost that was for sale.  Or perhaps a salesman of ghosts, trying to ply his trade.  Or perhaps a ghostly sales clerk, or a ghostly job seeker, looking for some employment in sales.  But this is a Hong Kong produced Chinese movie, not a Hollywood film.  So of course this movie is none of those things.  Instead, Ghost for Sales is a delightfully mixed up, Three-Stooges-style knock off of Ghost Busters.

Movie Review: Spooky Family

I think I can guess how this Chinese movie got made.  Some producer thought it would be a good idea to cash in on the huge and lucrative Addams Family craze of 1990 (you'll have to stay with me here).  So director Chin Yuet Sang begin his film with a shot of the "Spooky Family" posing together in a recognizable Addams Family style, while the Addams Family theme music played (with one note different, to make it an "original" song!)

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Spooky Family
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	4.4 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	4.7 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	3.5 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Spooky Family
Director	Chin Yuet Sang
Actors	Kent Cheng, Nina Li Chi, Pauline Wong, Sandra Ng, Billy Lau, Peter Chan Lung
Year	1990
Format Viewed	VCD (China Star Entertainment Group, WF50103V)

At this point, about twenty seconds into the movie, the director must have said "Screw this!  The Addams Family is not huge and lucrative, as my stupid producer thinks.  I'm going to make my own movie!"  So, after less than a minute into the film, the director tore up the script and threw out the premise.  The movie struck off entirely on its own...

Movie Review: Till Death Do We Scare

Her name is "Irene Leen."  An old, Chinese-movie-style fortune teller proclaims this to be a very unlucky last name indeed.  She should have picked a different one.  With a last name like "Leen," she is destined to always be a widow.  After all, it’s the same last name as JFK’s famous widow.  "You know," he says. "Jacqueline!"  Amazing.

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Till Death Do We Scare
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	2.6 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	2.7 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.2 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Till Death Do We Scare
Director	Lao Kai Wing
Actors	Olivia Cheng, Alan Tam, David Chiang, Wong Ching, Raymond Wong
Year	1982
Format Viewed	VCD (Media Asia/Megastar MS/VCD219HK)

This is a ludicrous premise, and it leads to a satisfyingly silly Chinese movie.  From the Gweilo's perspective, it seems as though nobody was taking Till Death Do We Scare seriously at any point in its creation.  Which frees up the director for some amazingly absurd scenes.  For example,

Movie Review: Devil Fetus

Hong Kong cinema is nothing if not inventive!  Sometimes a low budget, a tight schedule, or other restrictions can lead to some really creative movie making in Chinese movies. 

For example, a lot of quickly produced low-budget kung fu movies from the '70s had skilled martial artists but little money for props, special effects, or convincing-looking weapons.  A unique film aesthetic developed from this that I like to call the make-anything-a-weapon film technique.  Two combatants would be fighting on the mostly empty movie set.  The first would pick up whatever is at hand, let's say a chair, and suddenly he's wielding the chair like a pro, whirling it around his head and using it to “chair” his opponent violently through the window.  The opponent lands hard, right next to a garden hose, which he picks up and whips around like he's been training with hoses all his life.  His enemy gets “hosed” with extreme prejudice until he crashes into a passing badger, which he picks up . . . well, you get the picture.  Whatever will they use next as a weapon? becomes a big part of the fun of watching this kind of thing.

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for Devil Fetus
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	4.7 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	5 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	2.5 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	Devil Fetus
Director	Liu Hung Chuen
Actors	Shirley Lui, Ngaai Dik, Lo Pooi Pooi, Lau Dan, Ho Pak-Kwong
Year	1983
Format Viewed	VCD (Deltamac / Fortunestar VCD 7082)

What does this have to do with Devil Fetus?  This film brilliantly takes the make-anything-a-weapon film technique of a low-budget kung fu movie, but adapts it for the horror movie genre, inventing its own make-anything-be-"haunted" technique.  From the Gweilo's perspective, this makes for enormous fun!  You will spend most of the movie wondering Whatever will turn out to be “haunted” next?  A haunted car?  Check.  A haunted dog?  Check.  A haunted fetus?  Well, obviously!  A haunted steam room with moving walls?  OK, sure.  A haunted bedroom set?  Now that's just silly!  A haunted dog-entrail-eating cousin-raping teenage boy?  Wait, WTF kind of movie am I watching?!

Movie Review: 9th September

At Gweilo's Guide, we celebrate what makes Chinese movies weird and fresh and unusual from the gweilo's perspective.  Random, nonsensical film-making strategies are a big part of the fun here.  That's the whole point of the WTF meter. 

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for 9th September
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	5 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	3 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.5 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	9th September
Director	Lam Chin Wai
Actors	Michael Chow Man-Kin, Simon Loui Yu-Yeung, Anita Lee Yuen-Wa
Year	2000
Format Viewed	VCD (Universe VCD 2259)

However, as any B-movie fan will tell you, the weirdness can pile up to a point where it stops being amusingly weird, and it starts being just weird weird, in a bad way.  A movie can get random to the point where it’s difficult to make any sense of it at all.  9th September boldly pushes past this boundary within the first few minutes of the film without even breaking a sweat.  In fact, 9th September sets out to discover if there's an even farther boundary, where the accumulated weirdness hits a kind of critical mass, and turns good again.